The Handlebar Moustache

Since the invention of the handlebar mustache (Bell Labs 1941), men (and some forward-thinking women) have used it as a self-identifier of rebellion, strength and dominance over one's biology. During the late '60s, it became popular with motorcycle clubs, where groups of men would gather on their two-wheeled automobiles at pre-chosen locations to discuss literature and world-events.

Today, it is a look most identified with musicians, whose livelihoods demand that any facial fur be restricted to the upper-half of the face, so as not to get caught in microphone grills, guitar-strings, or elaborately ornate drum kits.

Scientists predict that the handlebar mustache's days are numbered, as "mustache wax", a substance one eats in large quantities to promote the growth of under-nose hair, is going to run out soon.

It is predicted that when the ability to procure mustache wax (through deep-sea wax-farming) takes more moustachioed men than the subsequent wax-crop can supply, we will have reached "Peak Mustache Wax", at which point we can expect to see a rush to adopt many new types of facial hair, such as foreheadstaches, ear-dreads and tongue-beards.